“Everything will be fine,” I often whisper to myself. I do that a lot—talk to myself. Just ask my coworker Allison. The poor thing has to sit next to me and listen to all my not-so-internal conversations. But I’ve found it helps me filter my thoughts—my real thoughts (not the senseless ones) and stay calm. Especially when things don’t go as we expect.

Lately, it seems like everything I’m working on isn’t going as planned. And, to be honest, it can start to feel like the life is draining out of me. Think that could make it on My Favorite Murder? “Woman killed by her plans going awry.” Fine, I’m being dramatic. But all this triggered me to reflect on what exactly I do when things get chaotic and if it’s a healthy response.

At a recent lecture, Erik Dahl spoke about planning. He asked, “When shit hits the fan, do you know what to do?”

First, I breathe. I don’t care whether you’re a yogi or not, being intentional with your breath is important. Take three deep and slow breaths. If you can step away into a quiet space and close your eyes while doing this, even better. Give yourself this mini reboot. This will help you be conscious of what you’re actually doing and need to get done. Dahl reminded us of this. Otherwise, we are just going through the motions. So breathe, be intentional, and actually do work.

Second, I accept the mess. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve said, “It is what it is,” the past couple of weeks. But it’s a true statement. Accepting when things go wrong is vital to moving forward. Which brings us to my next step: allow new ideas to form. Dahl said, “Reframe the problem.” I love that idea. Find a new perspective to find new possible solutions. Being open to seeing and understanding other people’s ideas and opinions allows room for growth. So put your pride down and keep truckin’.

So, after I breathe, accept the mess, and keep an open mind, it’s time to start the cycle of understanding and creating. I make sure I understand what the client liked and didn’t like about said project. I try to understand where things detoured—both from the client’s perspective and within our internal processes. Then I breathe some more and start creating. Sometimes from scratch, sometimes not. I know all this can be so hard and easier said than done, but like most things, it gets easier the more you practice.

It comes down to understanding that your original plan is subject to change. You have to accept things as they are and as they come. Give yourself the grace to realign over and over again until the project is complete. Having patience with yourself, others, and your project is not a sign of weakness, but maturity.